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A Vigil Through
The Night A Vigil Through The Night Now is a time of quiet rage; a time when I can only snarl at my own frustration as I watch events unfold. I want to do something, but there is little I can do from a distant field other than seethe over my helplessness and impotency. Today I must walk with the dogs of madness and despair frothing and biting at my heels. I must watch from afar while the wolves of racial hatred and nationalistic fervor are released once again, with all too predictable results. To my sincerest dismay, I am not alone. From the heart of darkness my home has been attacked, and all my people have been burdened alike. Were I to be offered the blessing of divine intercession, my greatest wish would be that the Grand Architect of the Universe might make my shoulders broad enough to take that burden from my people. I would carry that load for them all if, through such action, I might divert them from a course which leads to further death and destruction. It is, however, improbable that my role in this life will permit me such an honor. You see, I am a common man; the son of a carpenter and the grandson of a fisherman. I am a citizen of America, and a patriot in the most basic sense of the word; I love my home. As many before me, I have served my nation through honorable military service, and I share the common experience of having existed and survived by the sweat of my brow for most of my life. In times such as ours I am possessed by the same passions as my neighbors and fellows across our homeland. I am in pain, and my feelings run the same gamut from outrage and horror to incredulity and wonder about how this could happen here. I mourn for the dead and I grieve with their families. I moan for the injured and I am giddy with joy at the news of each survivor. I laugh and cry, both at once, out of hope that more will be found alive but in fear that hope is lost. And with every new report from the scene, I feel the heat rise behind my eyes and in my head until it flows down my arms and makes me clench my fists in rage. Like my kith and kin near and far, I am angered and frightened by what has happened. I crave security and a world safe from the terrible violence of the recent past; a world where no creature need be concerned about loss of life, health, home, or the means to pursue happiness. My instinct is to hide, to retreat, to find safe harbor from the atrocities, if such haven exists, or to fight, to lash out, and thereby make the cause of my distress vanish forever. However, my conscience screams that now, more than ever, I must have courage. I must face the flames in my heart, and deal with them, lest the demagogues use them to ignite far more dangerous fires. I know, as every common man knows, that in times of such crisis, the scent of heightened emotions will awake the self-righteous, the power-hungry, the megalomaniacs, and all manner of miscreants to emerge from their lurking places. They will strike from the shadows of righteousness, and attempt to use my passions to serve their own vile ends, just as those they rankle against have struck from the shadows of evil. But a shadow is still a shadow, no matter from what it may be cast. I must be wary of those who call to me from either side of the dark street I now walk, or risk becoming entangled in whatever warped agenda roils hidden and helter-skelter behind their eyes. If, as the saying goes, the price of liberty is eternal vigilance, then I must now be more vigilant than ever. I must recognize that the domestic enemy may be the more imminent danger, and I must be as prepared to resist that threat as I am anxious to retaliate against those who have shed blood directly. Retaliation is not what I should be about though, at least, not yet. The violent acts that have precipitated the crisis are criminal acts by mass murderers, not an attack by an enemy nation state. Even discussing them on the same level as an "act of war" awards the criminals an elevated status which is wholly undeserved. Publicly proclaiming them as such only encourages the unseen enemy to act again. I am therefore disgusted and dismayed by the\ political grandstanding in which so many of my elected representatives have recently engaged. I mean, speeches from on high, and flag-waving may make me feel good when my station in life prevents me from doing anything more substantial. However, the purveyors of such hollow rhetoric are fools if they expect that showboat patriotism will induce me to surrender my reason or my liberty to a trumped-up fear of fanaticism. To do so would be to hand victory to the enemy and to live the remainder of my days in a cage of my own construction; to offer up on a silver platter what many before me have shed their blood to retain and preserve. What I need most now is real leadership exhibiting real patriotism by acting with restraint; by holding back the dogs of war until passions subside and the cool light of reason can prevail. I would, of course, have much preferred it if the navigators among us had begun to think, and plan, and chart our course carefully, delicately, and deliberately through the storm ahead. Would that they had taken the helm with full awareness of the ramifications of their actions upon the lives of my sons and daughters. Instead, their irresponsible and militaristic appeals to base patriotism, which cater only to a thirst for revenge against an, as yet, faceless enemy, make me feel embarrassed and ashamed. Like an uneducated, drunken uncle spouting off nonsense to the neighbors, they make me look ignorant and foolish to the rest of the world, because the simple, common sense truth, obvious to everyone, is that we do not need to declare war to hunt down criminals. Only an idiot or a fool sets his neighbor's fields on fire to destroy a blight. A time for action will come, but that time has not yet arrived, and until it has, I must reject any call for war. I must also reject the many voices who are trying to mobilize my people around religious intolerance, racial hatred, revenge, and all the other myriad shapes of darkness which would cast shadows on my freedom. I cannot concede the day, and the podium, to the disciples of repression and hatred. To even listen to the great noise they make is to let them sow evil seeds in my people's hearts; seeds which would grow into the strangling vines of repression. Instead of being lured by the siren song of the demagogues, I must listen carefully amid the din for the quiet voices of reason which will soothe and quell my fears, and I must act accordingly. The dead are beyond earthly help. While I mourn their loss, I know I must not let my as-yet unquenched passions blind me to my continuing responsibility as the custodian of my children's future. This world has been loaned to me by my children's children, and I must ever act to protect the interests of the seventh generation. To that end, I must do my part to revitalize a nation of the people, by the people, for the people, and take my homeland back from the moneyed interests whose arrogance and avarice have let loose the beast that hunts us now. However, the most important thing right now is to remain calm and to stand firm for the principles of liberty which I hold most dear. To do anything less would be the greatest form of disrespect to those who have shed their blood and sacrificed their lives to provide me a lifefree from tyranny. Iwill not dishonor their memory by sacrificing the smallest of the liberties for which they bled and died, and I will resist to my last breath any who would ask for, or demand, such a sacrifice. Fortunately, I am of a strong, gallant people who have the courage to face the darkness within, and I know that others will join me in my vigil through the night. Permission is granted to distribute the article herein for nonexclusive, noncommercial use with the conditions that it is distributed as received, unedited, and complete, and that the title, author, copyright statement, and conditions of use remain attached and unmodified. 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